FCE essay example: are professional athletes overpaid?
Below you will find an original Part 1 essay prompt about sports salaries, a top answer (18/20) and a solid answer (13/20), marked on all four criteria. It belongs to our B2 First Writing guide; the FCE essay guide explains the task in full.
By Eleanor BennettLast updated:
How to approach this task
Many students feel strongly about this topic, which is good, but an essay still needs balance.
- Introduction: big salaries are often in the news; are they deserved?
- Note 1, entertainment: athletes create the money that pays them.
- Note 2, short careers: they have only a few years to earn.
- Your own idea: inequality between sports, role models, or comparing athletes with nurses and teachers.
- Conclusion: a clear answer that follows logically from your paragraphs.
Make sure you understand each note. "Short careers" means athletes retire young, so the point is about earning enough for the rest of their lives.
Top answer (18/20)
The task
In your English class you have been talking about sport. Your teacher has asked you to write an essay.
Professional athletes earn far too much money. Do you agree?
Notes. Write about: 1. the entertainment they provide 2. their short careers 3. ........ (your own idea)
Write your essay in 140–190 words.
Top answer179 words · estimated 18/20
Every summer, news of another record-breaking transfer or salary makes headlines, and many people wonder whether any athlete can be worth so much. In my view, the answer is more complicated than it first appears.
To begin with, top athletes provide entertainment for millions of people. Stadiums are full, television companies pay enormous sums for broadcasting rights, and fans buy shirts and tickets. Since players are the reason this money exists, it seems fair that they receive a share of it.
It is also worth remembering that sporting careers are short. Most professionals retire in their thirties, often with injuries, and they have to earn enough in ten or fifteen years to support themselves for the rest of their lives.
What concerns me, though, is the gap between the elite and everyone else. While a handful of stars become millionaires, many athletes in less popular sports can barely pay their bills.
Overall, I do not think the best athletes are overpaid compared with the money they generate. The real problem is that wealth in sport is shared so unequally.
Examiner-style comments
- Content5/5
- Both notes are developed with clear reasons, and the third idea (the gap between elite athletes and those in less popular sports) adds a new angle. The conclusion disagrees with the statement and explains why.
- Communicative Achievement5/5
- The writer engages the reader from the first sentence and holds a confident, neutral tone. The final sentence reframes the debate, which makes the essay memorable.
- Organisation4/5
- Logical progression with good topic sentences ('To begin with', 'It is also worth remembering', 'What concerns me, though'). The third body paragraph is shorter than the others and could include an example.
- Language4/5
- Good range ('broadcasting rights', 'a handful of stars', 'barely pay their bills') with no noticeable errors. Sentence structures are varied but mostly familiar, so Language is a strong 4.
A confident, nuanced essay that disagrees with the statement and supports every point.
Marks are our estimate using the public B2 First writing criteria, not an official Cambridge mark.
Solid answer (13/20)
The task
In your English class you have been talking about sport. Your teacher has asked you to write an essay.
Professional athletes earn far too much money. Do you agree?
Notes. Write about: 1. the entertainment they provide 2. their short careers 3. ........ (your own idea)
Write your essay in 140–190 words.
Solid pass181 words · estimated 13/20
I am agree that professional sportsmen earn too much money. In this essay I am going to explain my opinion.
First, it is true that sport is a big entertainment. Every weekend millions of people watch football on the TV or go to the stadium. But doctors and nurses also are important and they earn a very low salary. I think this is not fair.
Second, people say that the careers of sportsmen are short. This is true, but when they finish they can work as coach or in the television, so they don't have problems of money. Also they earn in one year more than a normal person in all his life.
Moreover, footballers are role models for children. Children copy everything they do, the haircut, the clothes and the expensive cars. If they see that the most important thing is the money, they will think the same when they are adults.
In conclusion, the sportsmen earn too much money and I think the goverments should put a limit. With this money we could build hospitals and schools for everybody.
Examiner-style comments
- Content4/5
- All three points are addressed, and the third idea (athletes as role models for children) is relevant. However, the conclusion suddenly introduces a new idea (a government limit and building hospitals) that was not discussed in the body.
- Communicative Achievement3/5
- The opinion is clear and the register is mostly neutral, but some arguments are stated rather than explained ('I think this is not fair'), so the reader is only partly persuaded.
- Organisation3/5
- Paragraphing is clear and each body paragraph deals with one note. Linking relies on 'First', 'Second', 'Moreover', and the introduction ('In this essay I am going to explain my opinion') adds nothing.
- Language3/5
- Errors are frequent but rarely block meaning: 'I am agree', 'a big entertainment', 'work as coach', 'problems of money', 'in all his life'. There is some good vocabulary ('role models', 'put a limit').
Relevant and clearly organised, with noticeable errors and a conclusion that adds new, unsupported ideas.
Marks are our estimate using the public B2 First writing criteria, not an official Cambridge mark.
What to copy from the top answer
- Open with a hook that shows why the question matters. "News of another record-breaking transfer…" is more engaging than "In this essay I am going to…".
- Explain, don't just state. "Since players are the reason this money exists, it seems fair…" gives a reason, not only an opinion.
- No new ideas in the conclusion. Summarise and answer; don't introduce taxes or hospitals for the first time.
- Avoid "I am agree". In English it is simply "I agree".
Check your own answer
Write your own essay for this prompt before you look at the answers again. Then go through the B2 First writing checklist and paste your draft into the writing checker and word counter to make sure you are between 140 and 190 words. More marked answers are in our FCE writing examples.
Questions about this task
Can I disagree with the essay statement?
Yes. You can agree, disagree or take a middle position. The top answer disagrees and still earns full marks for Content.
What is the most common grammar mistake in opinion essays?
'I am agree' is one of the most frequent. Agree is a verb, so write 'I agree' or 'I don't agree'.
Is it bad to add new ideas in the conclusion?
Yes. The conclusion should summarise your argument and answer the question. A new idea there feels unsupported and can confuse the reader.
Can I compare athletes with other jobs?
Yes, comparisons with doctors or teachers can be a good third idea. Develop it in its own paragraph rather than adding it inside a note paragraph.